Category Archives: life lessons

the alarm clock.

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this week is going to be brutal. i’m so ready, though! i’ve realized my poor habits of sleeping with my phone “too close” to me when I sleep–either on my night table next to me, on the floor next to me or even sometimes on my bed.

when i was home for the holidays i had my phone situated to charge at night at a location in my room where i thought was a good enough distance. i felt comfortable that it wasn’t “too far” (oh the anxiety our generation has about our phones and other gadgets) but also that i would need to get up and out of bed to get it if i really needed to which prevented me from “checking in” unnecessarily and also actually listen to my alarm in the mornings as i would be up anyway.

i’ve tried that here, since i’ve been back and needless to say i don’t find the same comfort as i did as when i was home. the phone seems too far, for starters.

so today, at the dollar store i bought this little {cute} and somewhat “old school” clock with an alarm for my bedside. i’m hoping to rely on it to wake me up and tell me the time rather than immediately “checking in” when my phone alarm would usually go off.

i’m going to give this a go as a way to further distance myself and “unplug” and have a more healthy sleep pattern.

what do you guys do to help yourself sleep better? and/or what are your habits with your cell phone at/during bedtime?

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favorite posts of 2013

with it being new years eve and all, i thought it was only natural to reflect on the posts of 2013 that i liked the most. new years eve makes me anxious honestly…the countdown, the need for awesome plans, a new year, expectations, tears, etc. but i will absolutely appreciate the moments of missananda this year 🙂

some of the moments are pictured below. some of the greatest moments that (aren’t) pictured are when I and my blog were featured on the 20somethings of 2013, learning about living alone, new year’s resolutions for the ‘school year.’ and probably “meeting” all of you and sharing my story with you–i love my readers,

in no particular order: 1// how did i end up here?–my story that i am now proud of and hope encourages everyone 2// after a period of struggling i found the word “relax” imprinted into the sidewalk 3// i simply love NYC 4// watching my best friend graduate from college 5// the amazing quote by Kyoko Escamilla 6// the day Marlowe came into my life 7// fall festivities with great company 8// a very special visit

fave posts copyhappy, happy new year everyone and do a little reflecting for yourself!

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Featured Friend: Briannah, “Who am I?”

A friend of mine, Briannah emailed and asked to create the statement, in a video of myself, “I am ____.” It took me longer than I thought and there were lists of possibilities of words that I thought would be.. “good enough.” I thought and thought and after talking to a good friend of mine about it I thought… STRONG was the perfect word to use. This year has been all about learning about myself and I’ve gone through…so much. Needless to say, I’ve persevered and have found myself in so many ways and truly can define myself as a strong woman which I am so proud to say for myself and hope so many other girls and women can.

WHO AM I?

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The question “Who Am I?” is not as straightforward as you would think. In class we did a whole field assignment around the idea of who we thought we were. Not what other people thought, not what we wanted to be, but who we are. It was brutal, but very eye opening. When I actually sit down and think about the question I got frustrated. All of this self-reflection was tiring me out. But then I started to honestly think about all of the things that make me, well me. The experience is wonderful, an experience of self-awakening that I just had with myself. Now, I can take this experience and either keep it to myself…or I could share it. When I learn something cool or something interesting to me, I like to talk about it around the dinner table or talk to my friends about it, so for my final project, I gave some of my friends the question “Who Am I?” to ponder.  Here’s what they came up with.

{see the video below}

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Gratitude is the way home. Home is where joy lives in us.

a little something i discovered during my Brene Brown art-journaling course…just had to share!

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Featured Friend: Bobby, “Stand Still Like the Hummingbird: The Quest for Inner Peace”

Bobby is someone very special to me. When I was 17 I had my very first job! It was a small Kosher deli in a shopping strip in my hometown. I’d go in a few days after school and I learned so many things about the food industry, kosher culture, my hometown itself, and so much more…. and Bobby was my boss. He was the manager of this fine deli and became someone I looked up to and almost a life coach as I was applying to college and in my senior year of high school.

I did lots of growing up thanks to him and that job while ago and we’ve kept in contact as best we could. When I found his pleasant email the other day I was ecstatic to read his work and to show it to you, all. This piece is entitled “Stand Still Like the Hummingbird” and was completely hooked right after the first paragraph. I found it to be so meaningful and perfect for so many of the people in my audience and also very special to me.

I felt encouraged to accept myself, to appreciate the things I do each day, and to at least try not to be so hard on myself all the time. I hope this does the same for you, and thank you SO much, Bobby for sharing this with (us)!

{photo by Rick Brown}

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STAND STILL LIKE THE HUMMINGBIRD

The Quest for Inner Peace

By Robert Scharf

As we search for healing and struggle to come to grips with our past, as we awaken long repressed emotions, as we try to move forward with our lives in a positive vein, we run the risk of becoming discouraged if our “progress” does not seem to fit our image of progress. We run this risk because we imagine that if we are healing, we should no longer have our faults.

“I do all this working through over my issues, why do I still have a short temper?”

I like to remind us, from time to time, that a good part of what we need to do is learn self- acceptance. It is doubtful that your labors toward finding inner peace will be lost, though you may not find all the “improvements” you hoped for.

Surely this imperative to be faultless is born of the poisonous pedagogy, of all of the internalized rejection we suffered, of all the times we were told, explicitly or implicitly, that we weren’t quite good enough. In our quest for inner peace, it is this internalized critic which we must let go as much as we must let go of our ghosts from the past.

There is a book by Henry Miller with the charming title, “Stand Still Like the Hummingbird.” This delightful image is dialectical and paradoxical and can mean many things and I may not use it in the sense Miller used it. When the hummingbird feeds, it hovers before a plant. It hovers by fluttering its wings over 60 times a second! They move so fast, they cannot be seen with the naked eye. So, is the hummingbird moving or is it standing still? It is expending great energy while it feeds and replenishes energy.

When we are weary, we require rest; but our bodies are doing great work! We feel replenished upon awakening because our body does the work of replenishing itself. So, are we at rest or at work?

One of the things this image of the hummingbird brings to mind is this question of healing. “If I were healing, I would be dong such and such, or not doing this or that.” You might focus on the idea that you are standing still, but you are actually doing tremendous work. Conversely, you might focus on the work you are doing without realizing how you are also standing still or being replenished.

What I am suggesting here is that this can be a question of focus, of being content with where you are and who you are.

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A peek into what I’m reading…

A peek into what I'm reading...

As many of you know I had come up with a little summer reading list. And although its nearing the end of summer, I’m still working long and hard on this list. I blame the amount of schoolwork and added stresses of life 😛 oh the joys of growing up.

Anyway, Brene Brown was a major hit for me this summer. She brought me an entire new light into my self-discovery and letting go of things in my past that I wasn’t too fond of. (See my posts on her HERE and HERE and my summer reading list HERE)

As cliche as the basic may be, facing your fears, I’ve realized is one of the most liberating and self-appreciating things you can do for yourself. More than just “facing fears” by facing those difficulties straight in the eye, things as simple (for me) as not going someplace because I don’t want to and not caring about what others would think about it…just being content with what I want was liberating and great for me in practicing my own preferences.

Coming from a lifestyle and/or childhood where the general cultural makeup is one where all decisions are made for you could be one of the most difficult things to get over and understand your own true likes and dislikes…i can 19409395% attest to this. i’m learning, by Brown’s well-put phrase (highlighted then screenshot from my kindle) that owning this story and where i come from will allow me to embrace the details that are difficult to come to terms with.  we all have those shadows…so i’m not imposing any sort of sob story but sometimes it’s hard to realize what those ghosts are in our past until we notice some of the ugly things that may come up about ourselves. by starting to learn about my “story” i’m more than appreciative of what this story is and in understanding how it makes me a good person today.

i hope this little quote helps you think about and embrace your own story.

and for the record, I’m reading all three, The Gifts of Imperfection, The Casual Vacancy, and My Year with Eleanor simultaneously and about quarter way through with all of them. They’re all really good. I highly recommend!

Happy end of the summer!

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the end of the beginning

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so another term is under my belt. i finished my first summer term on friday and it felt so awesome. i can’t believe how quickly it’s all flying by and how much things change moment by moment. i feel that i have some amazing, new friends and have never felt so great about what i’m getting my life into. i can’t wait to be with kids, all the time and to be the person that understands them, that advocates for them, that guides them, and is one of their best friends.

my first summer session ended with these beautiful flowers from two very influential instructors that i’ve had- in more ways than one.

given my whole new obsession with flowers this season, i’d say it was pretty fitting.
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the things they never tell you about living alone…

here’s a little list i’ve come up with after the first six months of my living alone..about the things no one told me. and it includes both good and (not so good) sides.

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1. pants are optional. pantsless (as we speak) i never thought i’d let my legs be so free in my life…it’s awesome.

2. i listen to the same two songs over and over with little to no worry if anyone knows i have (or not)

3. you do everything alone. this has been one of those things that’s both good and bad. good when you don’t want anyone to answer to  but bad when you have a million groceries to bring up 5 flights of stairs.

4. the guy across the hall does exist even if you never really see him.

5. thoughts of “i wonder what people think of the smell of my cooking?” or “can they hear the trashy reality tv show i’m watching?”

6. you can get away with not cleaning for a day (or three..you know those insane weeks)

7. lights can be on or off whenever you want them to be.

8. you can wake up whenever you want.. no one knows… which could be a bad thing at some point…maybe.

9. i put together some of the weird outfits

10. i’m (still) decorating my apartment (bittersweet) but it’s the way i need 🙂

11. i never really close the bathroom door…..is that weird?

12. i talk to marlowe..out loud. all the time. i know that’s weird.

13. i scream the F-word multiple times without a care in the world. how empowering.

14. sportsbras as shirts on hot days.

15. eating cheerios for multiple meals a day, multiple times a week.

mehh…maybe this is why i’m “so weird” now. but hey, i love it and i’ve never felt so free. i think every woman needs to live alone for a part of her life for self-discovery

photo of one of the “dream rooms” i have from the blog cape cod collegiate.

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my 20somethings profile

Your 20s are a decade of complete self-discovery. Figure out what makes you “tick,” what makes you “feel,” and learn about yourself with yourself.

super excited! my “story” is up on 20somethings in 2013! thanks so much for this feature, i’m so glad to further share my story and reach out to other 20somethings. you can check it out HERE.

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