Bobby is someone very special to me. When I was 17 I had my very first job! It was a small Kosher deli in a shopping strip in my hometown. I’d go in a few days after school and I learned so many things about the food industry, kosher culture, my hometown itself, and so much more…. and Bobby was my boss. He was the manager of this fine deli and became someone I looked up to and almost a life coach as I was applying to college and in my senior year of high school.
I did lots of growing up thanks to him and that job while ago and we’ve kept in contact as best we could. When I found his pleasant email the other day I was ecstatic to read his work and to show it to you, all. This piece is entitled “Stand Still Like the Hummingbird” and was completely hooked right after the first paragraph. I found it to be so meaningful and perfect for so many of the people in my audience and also very special to me.
I felt encouraged to accept myself, to appreciate the things I do each day, and to at least try not to be so hard on myself all the time. I hope this does the same for you, and thank you SO much, Bobby for sharing this with (us)!
{photo by Rick Brown}
STAND STILL LIKE THE HUMMINGBIRD
The Quest for Inner Peace
By Robert Scharf
As we search for healing and struggle to come to grips with our past, as we awaken long repressed emotions, as we try to move forward with our lives in a positive vein, we run the risk of becoming discouraged if our “progress” does not seem to fit our image of progress. We run this risk because we imagine that if we are healing, we should no longer have our faults.
“I do all this working through over my issues, why do I still have a short temper?”
I like to remind us, from time to time, that a good part of what we need to do is learn self- acceptance. It is doubtful that your labors toward finding inner peace will be lost, though you may not find all the “improvements” you hoped for.
Surely this imperative to be faultless is born of the poisonous pedagogy, of all of the internalized rejection we suffered, of all the times we were told, explicitly or implicitly, that we weren’t quite good enough. In our quest for inner peace, it is this internalized critic which we must let go as much as we must let go of our ghosts from the past.
There is a book by Henry Miller with the charming title, “Stand Still Like the Hummingbird.” This delightful image is dialectical and paradoxical and can mean many things and I may not use it in the sense Miller used it. When the hummingbird feeds, it hovers before a plant. It hovers by fluttering its wings over 60 times a second! They move so fast, they cannot be seen with the naked eye. So, is the hummingbird moving or is it standing still? It is expending great energy while it feeds and replenishes energy.
When we are weary, we require rest; but our bodies are doing great work! We feel replenished upon awakening because our body does the work of replenishing itself. So, are we at rest or at work?
One of the things this image of the hummingbird brings to mind is this question of healing. “If I were healing, I would be dong such and such, or not doing this or that.” You might focus on the idea that you are standing still, but you are actually doing tremendous work. Conversely, you might focus on the work you are doing without realizing how you are also standing still or being replenished.
What I am suggesting here is that this can be a question of focus, of being content with where you are and who you are.